free lunch

on friday, me and kakzura went to pancake parlour to have our lunch.we had..

crumbes barramundi served with potato pancake, cottage potatoes, tartar sauce and sour cream

french spanakopita with side salad and sour cream
and for dessert..

3 scoops of ice-cream served with glazed cherry and home-made hot chocolate fudge

yummm..

big white door

many often ask if im working or not.yes, i do work.in fact,i have 2 jobs but at as of 5:30pm today, i lost one job.a job that pays more than the other one.sad but what to do kan.so this other job that i still have is house cleaning.or bak kata sorg kawan, kat mesia org panggil maid.haha.so yes, im a maid.maid stylo ok! so, that picture is the door of the house i clean every friday.beso kot umah ni..pintu je pon dh beso gabak.its a 3 storey house consists of 6 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, 1 office, 2 living rooms and 1 spacious kitchen.the backyard is huugeeee with a swimming pool and garden.my job involves vacuuming and tidy-ing every room and the carpeted stairs, wiping the furnitures.of course i dont work alone (pengsan kalo buat sorg).my fren cleans the bathrooms as well as the kitchen.

aku ok je keje ni.sbb like i told u before, the eldest son is hot.hahaha.model+gardener.very desperate housewives gitu.so thats about it.

kalo kat mesia tak buat kot.haha

with love

taken from my wall and of ozzy's

my heart's torn in two.after looking at this picture, my heart's even more torn.my cousin (in the picture) is going back to mesia from the states.we havent seen her and her mum for quite some time.so now they're coming back for our cousin's wedding in july.and me, well, lets just say that im stuck here.haha.ok la, not stuck but i chose to stay here instead.because of work and something else.i wanted to go home for the wedding but i decided to stay.but then she suddenly wrote something on my wall..saying that she wants to see me over the summer and she missed me.my heart melted.for that, i have second thots of whether to go back or not.adding to that, she posted this picture of a note.she wrote, 'i love fina'. awww..she's such a sweetheart.sigh.i do want to see them all.even the ones living in brazil pon are already in mesia.everybody's there except me and my brother.depressing (food pon kalah dlm hal ni).

u deserve to angkat ur own bakul

an obsession

i've never really been particular about food but eversince i came here, i became very aware of what i ate.i often consult those who stayed here longer.asking them if it's okay to eat this or if the restaurant is halal or not.and if im in doubt, i dont order anything.i'd rather wait till i get home and fix some food in the kitchen which i know is safe.i dont want to be like some other frens who think its okay to eat at just any restaurants.because its not okay.i remembered a time when a bunch of us went out and had lunch at a restaurant in camberwell.when the waiter asked my fren what he wants to order, he said steak.then the waiter asked, 'do you want halal ones or...' his didnt get to finish the question and was cut off by my fren, 'oh, it doesnt matter.' i was dumbstruck.how cud it NOT matter? i've only heard from others that this fren has a reputation of his doesnt-matter-ness when it comes to food.and i got to witness it on that day.its true what they said.oh well, as long as he doesnt order food for me, it's fine.

so, back to my story.since i am very very obsessed about eating halal food, i brought that habit back to mesia. as u all know, i went back during summer and i met up with few frens for dinner. so nats brought us to this restaurant in the curve which i dont remember what the name was. and i was a bit worried because its a chinese restaurant (i think). i got really panic (tho i cud still maintain my coolness) and my heart was racing..my head went crazy. 'is it safe to eat here? its a chinese restaurant..'oh no, how do i tell them this? no, i cant. she picked this place so that means we CAN eat here.oh wait..can we? oh, shit.' i was scared and ashamed to ask them if the food is halal.but i needed to know before i cud order something to eat. so i quietly asked mok, 'halal tak kat sini?' she said of course! phew. so guys, i'll probly do this more often then i thot when im back soon.pls dont roll ur eyes or say 'duh' or tell me that im such a drama queen (which i think will most probly happen) because...im innocent like that.hahahahaha

well, hello..

moi?

last night i was with frens having dinner at a restaurant.a fren wanted some plain water so i, being the one who sat the farthest and near to the entrance volunteered to call the waiter.so this waitress was standing at the entrance looking outside for i dont know..wishing for the rain to stop maybe.so, i put my hand up and said "excuse me..excuse me..".she turned her head and looked at me for like 10 seconds (without blinking) so i said again (with a little hope), "excuse me..(giving eye signal that hey, im calling you..)".but she was staring and for about 5 seconds after that she asked, "me?? (while pointing to herself)". "no.i was calling for ur mother, sengal" (of course, i didnt say that but i wished i did) but DUHHHHH!! mmg sengal. but i was only mad for 5seconds because it was cold and all i was thinking about was to get home quick.

mmg betol mcm kat luar negara

not meant to be

i was walking from laguna and then i saw...someone was wearing my bag!! eh, no no..not MY bag.no one stole it.my bag as in the one that i wanted to buy.not the one below.it's the nine west bag that i posted last month, i think.the brown sling bag.argghhh! it's on sale but i still cudnt afford it.was $129 and after sale it's $109.ppffftt!! marah betol.can anyone kindly donate rm305 pretty plss? if u hit a jackpot or something and becomes a millionaire, rm305 is nothing rite..hihi.eh but, cannot.berdosa,duit harram.lalalla.hmm..or my other option is to just wait for spring/summer sale.thou its 3-4 months away, i'll have to patiently wait in despair.sad.let's just hope they sell it cheaper after winter.

i'm left with $20 in the bank.great.

antara mahu dan mahu!

i WANT these pls.er, ok la.just one of these.

but expensive for that size.sigh.


or


$45
i like both but brown's better kot.
what do u guys think?
worth tak if i buy it?

ku mulai mengharapkan mu

aarrghhh!! tensi okay. frens who went back got to eat everything they want. this is so not fair. not fair at all. and all the food twittering..oh, i cant stand it! lalalala.

some of the food that i miss (taken from people's status and tweets) :
1. buttered prawn
2. chili crab
3. apam balik (ada jumpa, indonesian made.not bad la)
4. nasi lemak depan akasia
5. meehun sup kedai pah depan umah seksyen 17
6. cendol!! (okay, not food but idc.haha)
7. kacang pool kat larkin tuu
8. kuih seri muka (eh, hari tu dh makan.haha)
9. honey stars (i seriously want honey stars)
10. roti gardenia
11. milo kotak (again, not food but again idc.lol)
12. karipap sardin wehh...karipap
13. masakan mama laa

eh, why am i talking about food? this is depressing.

Go Bag??

wtf?!

pengorbanan seorang aku

ain, adib and bia

i am totally missing out on everything.all the kenduri's, my cousins' weddings, seeing my cousins' kids and babies growing up, on-the-way babies, attending my bestfren's wedding (last saturday), celebrating my parents' birthdays, my frens' birthdays, i cudnt even see my cousins who came back from brazil and my other cousin and aunty who's gonna come back from new york soon...conclusion, everything and everyone lah.

that..made me lonely and guilty and sad and most importantly, left out. all this sacrificing im making is wearing me out. god, i miss them so much. just today, i found out that my family has another baby boy. he's 2 days old. I'm lucky that i even know about this. the mother who is my cousin, buzzed and showed me her cute little baby thru the webcam. then just now, my mom called giving me updates. my cousin officially opens a nursery last sunday, my close cousin is heavily pregnant (she was telling how big her belly is), the other cousin from ny is coming back with her mom on the 28th (and they were asking if im coming back), the one from brazil is going back to brazil for 2-3 days and then coming back to mesia again for his brother's wedding. *sigh*

the best part is that..i dont even know my cousins' babies. i dont know their names, how old they are, how big they've grown. i'm not there to witness their smiles and laughter. and i bet, they dont know who i am either. those 3 kids on the above picture probably cant remember me anymore. ain and adib were close with me before because when i was in cyber, i've always drop them a visit. i miss hearing them calling me aunty nana. and the hug that adib always give me everytime he sees me. and the sloppy kisses ain & adib always planted on my cheeks.

i never felt this left out before. probably it was my fault. choosing to come here instead of staying home. i could have just go to a local uni and not be too far away from everyone else. the first few months was cool. i was kinda the 'centre of attention' for being in overseas. families and frens talk (chat) to me alot. it was exciting. then..i was 'forgotten'. the attention subsided. i wasnt cool anymore. i was and am boring. those who always talked to me dont talk anymore. people got used to me being far, so there's nothing special about it. and i got used to the idea that that's just how it is. now, im not accusing anyone of anything..im just saying, this is perhaps the price i have to pay for making such decision.

nevertheless, i do appreciate those who still talk to me online or thru facebook or watever regardless of the purpose. i love it when i have someone or someones to talk to. because i am damn bored and cold and lonely and hungry for buttered prawn and chili crab. *sigh* i wish someone cud cook for me.

nana tak balik ke?

blown

after the blow dry.doing it again next week!

bells ringing

i was busy on friday nite helping out frens with their wedding reception preparation at mesia hall.it was ages since i helped out with weddings and stuff.so after cirque, i went straight to the hall and helped organizing tables, door gifts, plates and glasses etc.i was really excited because i felt like a part of something great.on saturday morning, we went 'early' (11am.haha) to hall and did a last minute preparation.i was supposed to wear pink baju kurung but i was too lazy to iron it.typical.haha.so i just settled with a maroonish red kebaya, lent to me by E.when the ceremony started, we girls sat at the back listening to the speeches and giggling at our own jokes.then after that we each do our job with refilling nasi minyak, lauk, the drinks, plates, dish washing and so on.in the afternoon, international guests said their goodbyes and the ones left are those from mesia.oh, i forgot to mention that there were loadssss of ridiculously cute kids and tembam babies! my god, i shud really think of delivering my baby overseas.haha.anyhoo,the after-partay was heaven.all the guests helped with the dishes, vacuuming, sorting out the tables and everything lah.which, was very very kind.then later, some just sat in front of the tv, some on the carpeted floor chatting (me and the girls) while watching the kids playing with each other.and for a moment..i miss home. *tears*

mcm a big family gathering

whaaa..?!

for the first time in my life..i JOG.yes, i did.i am very proud of myself thou i lasted only 15mins.hahahaha.no lah, longer than that (ok, i lied).since that was my first time, i got headache within 10mins of running.pfftt! i dont know what went wrong.the fact that i wasnt wearing any caps (because it was cold) or the fact that i was just being 'gedik'.haha.but i tell u, my head was pounding real hard la wey.so i opted for walking instead of running.i was waaayyyy behind kakzura (malew!).well, at least i did jog and i did use my new running shoes.and oh, while i was 'running' along the shops/restaurants, i ran into a cute malay singaporean guy.hihi.

at the moment

i am not happy. if u see me smiling, it's just an act i put up in front of people. How I wish things are better so i dont have to go thru all this. one thing that helps a bit, is the fact that im here. not there, but here. i know some of u might say, there's no place better than home. but that's not the case for me. now, dont get me wrong. i miss it, i love it, i just dont want to be there for now. call me bad or watever..i dont care. because..u will never understand. never. and oh, dont think this is about broken heart coz its not.

ur a one sinister piece of work

when it rains

today,
i woke up.
i hugged.
i loved.
i cried.
but now,

i'm sober.

oh, yes

i am soooo going!

sebentar tadi

aktiviti bersama miss ex-golden ketika kebosanan

one moment in time

after a sort of long break..
i don't feel like blogging anymore.
lots of stories to tell but..
just dont feel like putting them into words.
no, not yet.
maybe tomorrow.
or the next day.
or next week.
we'll see.

jangkit dgn ashaari alias kot! :p