Cold indeed

cold feet.
dem cold feet.

Free Give Away

does anybody wants her?she's up for grab.seriously.she's just 4-5 months.
if any of u are interested, give me a call or sms or watever.

it's finally here

uh-oh..its already monday.and im pretty much freaking out.i've packed my bag but there's still few things to buy.but the thing is that i dont know what to bring.frens said dont bring too much, i can buy stuff over there.murah la itu la..do they know that unless its sale, most of the stuffs are expensive?haha..nevermind.i planned to shop anyway.aunts plak are worrying of what food for us to bring.uncles jgk yg relax.my mom practically wants us to bring almost everything.shampoos, towels, dry food, rice cooker (??) etc.she knows we are only allowed with 2kg.if more have to pay a certain amount, which is expensive for extra kg.anyway, these remaining days in jb are gonna be busy.loads of errands and packing and everything else to settle.i'll see some of u soon ok.

Food Feast

i have been eating non stop since last week.
well, i wont be eating mesia dishes for quite some time rite.
so, im knocking myself out.

Forgiving

i found this the other day in my pile of junk..a friend of mine wrote this like years ago and it has become one of my favourites.i hope she doesnt mine me posting it here.its because i like it so much that i want to share with you.enjoy!

(zurin,2000-ish)

*incikzurin, if ur reading this..sorry tak mtk permission to post it.
kalo tak suke, bgtau aku eh.

Dont go to the dentist unless ur ready

aku tak benci..tapi aku tak suke pegi jumpe Dentist.dan semalam aku kena pegi jgk.tak duduk diam aku.hahaha.tgh2 dia check, ade plak lubang kat gigi aku kan..tapi aku takde plak rase sakit ke ape.cm biase je.jap lagi dia nak tampal.turun darah dari muke aku.lalalla..aku tau tak sakit tapi nerves.jap lagi...ngilu baeknye.tak cukup dgn tu..bile dia buat scaling..Sakit ok!berdarah2 gusi aku.time tu mcm nak bagi penumbuk je kat doktor tu.ahhahha.tapi in the end, bile tgk gigi aku..WoW! hahahaha. well..they're not bright and shiny but it'll do.for the time being.

lepas balik klinik..aku pun apalaga..pegi shopping.masuk Mng, the rest is history.hahaha.shopping sakan weh.tak ingt dunia.plak tu time Mng sale.lalala.okie..i better stop here.kang lagi byk aku nak membebel pasal crap.

tipulah aku

perasaan sebak menghantui aku sebaik saja aku melangkah masuk ke dalam kereta meninggalkan sesuatu yg tak mungkin.entah kenapa.mungkin aku silap perhitungan.perasaan yg selama ni aku fikir sudah hilang rupa2 nya masih melekat saki bakinya.

menipu diri sendirikah aku?ya.

tidak sampai hati utk aku berterus-terang.kenapa?takut kalau2 aku akan melukai perasaan sendiri?takut utk menerima kenyataan?atau tidak sampai hati nak merumitkan keadaan dan perasaan seseorg?ya kepada semua soalan.

i never thought it would hit me this hard.sumpah.mulanya aku fikir ini hanyalah mainan perasaan.dan perasaan itu proved me wrong.mungkin aku lemah maka aku hanyut bersamanya.patutkah aku abaikan?atau patutkah aku bertanya?kalau2 dia juga merasa yg sama?

.....

Kisah Seorang Budak Hemsem

hemsem kan budak ni..aku terpaksa pisahkan dia dari mak & siblings dia.dan dihantar ke melaka utk diberi kepada sorg kawan.mak akan tak larat utk menjaga mereka sekeluarga.jadi, terpaksa dipisahkan sorg demi sorg.aku kasihan.tapi nak buat mcmana.
budak hemsem ni tak berhenti2 keluarkan suara dia yg nyaring tu.ketakotan.aku tau dia sedih sbb tibe2 mak dgn siblings dah takde.plak tu tgk benda kat luar bergerak2.dalam kete aku pegang dia utk tenangkan dia.agak tak berjaya sgt la tapi dia tak lepas utk paut pada aku.kasihan sgt.
tapi aku tahu dan percaya yang kawan aku akan jaga dia sebaik mungkin.dan sbb itu jgk la aku merasa sedikit lega.aku harap sgt budak hemsem ni akan gemok & happy.amiinnn.

Tempias

di tag oleh Shy Hair terlebih dahulu kemudian oleh Radin Infatuated Sound

* Nama ‘timang-timangan anda oleh yg tersayang?
byk je.malas nak list kan.

* Anda seorang yang..
paranoid.

* Insan teristimewa? Describe apa membuatkan dia terlalu istimewa dimata anda..
dia yg memberikan hidup,membesarkan,memberikan kasih sayang dan takkan berhenti mengasihi.

* Makanan & minuman favourite..
byk je.malas nak list kan.

* Favourite colours..
rainbow

* Favourite song..
buat masa ni Nine in the Afternoon.

* Siapa yg selalu membuatkan anda tergelak..
ramai ok.termasuk la diri sendiri.haha..

* Sikap yg membuatkan anda stress..
waktu drive suke tgk kiri kanan selang 2-3 saat.

* 3 benda yg mesti ada dlm bag anda…
phone, purse, lip balm

* Kali terakhir anda beriya-iya menangis..kenapa..
masalah kat rumah.

* Perkara yg paling lucu atau memalukan dlm hidup anda…
salah step menari kat atas stage depan org yg ramai tahap gaban.

* Tag 6 rakan anda
Natasya
Nur Amalina
Farrhana
Naziha
Mila
Pisang goreng yg takkan buat

Portraying a Huge Smile

alhamdulillah..syukur pada Allah.i finally got a reply from Hall Melbourne and i got to stay there until i find a permanent place.tempoh yg diorg bagi hanya 2 minggu tapi itu dah cukup bagus utk sementara waktu ni.satu perkara dah selesai.alhamdulillah.

Panas doi kat luar

oh ye..aku finally un-private-kan blog aku.its a big step since aku agak tak biasa meng-open-kan blog ni kat org ramai.kalo ikutkan dulu langsung aku tak bagi siape2 bace.not one.so..skang ni aku melangkah sedikit ke hadapan.dikit aja.hehe
baiklah.semoga sukses!

hickery dickery dock tick tock

tinggal lagi lebih kurang satu minggu aku di sini.cepat kan masa berlalu.perasaan tak percaya tu masih lagi ada.betol ke aku akan ke sana?betol ke aku nak sambung belaja?betol ke?betol ke?tak salah ke decision aku?ready kah aku?aihhh..kalo tanye ready ke tak..sampai bile2 aku tak ready.jadi mungkin betol la decision yg aku buat ni.
hmm..saat2 akhir ni aku tak tau nak buat ape.duduk depan tivi dgn mak ayah aku?berbual 24 jam dgn mereka?pegi jalan2 kat jb sama2?jangan harap! hahahahha.aku mcm biase je.mcm takde ape akan berlaku tak lama lagi.tak senonoh.tak pandai nak spend time dgn mereka.
maka..takpe lah.stop dulu di sini.kejap lagi sepupu nak bertunang.eh eh..salah.nak pegi merisik.ok ok stop.

Seeing CannonBall

how am i suppose to imagine
when i dont know where i'll be sleeping

We are Human

so kodie..i decided not to post that entry u read.its too depressing.i cant show my weaknesses rite?so there are few major glitches in the family.so what?i can mend this.i have to, rite kodie?u believe that i can do this rite?thou i may slipped at times but i can do this, kan.i can take care of us both.i am a responsible sister and daughter, kan?i can make my mom proud, rite?i can prove to the rest of the world that i can.rite?this is depressing.fuck.but thanks very much kodie.

god brought us to this world all equal
everybody has the same ammount of chance to survive

Foper Groper

i had an interesting dream last nite.althou i cud vaguely remember how it went, i do clearly recall that in that the dream, i was a lesbian.and i had a partner too..which i cant remember who.come to think of it, its kinda funny.i mean, months ago i was wooed by a lesbian and i got away.now, i dreamt of becoming one.how ironic is that.haha.anyway, its just a dream rite.i wudnt go that far rite?..rite.

i like giving fope huh.so im "The Foper" or "Super Fope Giver"

Yang Satu

1 minit yang lalu, ape anda buat?
• browse website2 yg sepatutnye

1 hari yang lalu, apa anda buat?
• pegi anta baju mak, main dgn kucins..

1 hari lagi, ape anda akan buat?
• mungkin mengemas rumah pule

1 orang yang terakhir menelefon kamu?
• sorg saiko bisu call pada jam 5:25am

1 makanan yang baru dibeli?
• err..reese's peanut butter chocolate

1 barang yang baru hilang?
• yg baru jumpe ade la.setelah beberape thn baru jumpe buku Maybank.lala

1 cerita yang baru ditonton?
• KungPu Panda.best.

1 hal yang terakhir digosipkan?
• dah bersara dari bergossip

1 kata yang ingin diluahkan..?
• aku..nak tampar ko boleh tak.

1 buku yang sudah dibaca?
• yg baru abes bace ke ape?kalo baru takde la, tapi yg terakhir was American Gods

1 penyakit yang sering datang?
• addiction towards the internet

1 keinginan?
• tak nak menanges dgn terok nnt

yg saya nak tag:

Miss Whatever
See You Fly
Miss Shafa
Iz You Tasya
Miss Hers
Be Right Back
Miss Natlish

Yes or No

im thinking of un-private-ing my blog.maybe soon.

It's wise

"time will heal"

thats what people often say.for me, i'd say it's wrong.i dont believe time has the power to heal.time takes too long to heal me.but that was before when i didnt believe in time.i was super skeptical when it comes about time.time sucked.time was the only thing i dont have.but not anymore.i was proven wrong.so..all im saying is..

time does heal

Make me complete

kartika ini, sudah tidak seperti kelmarin.
kelmarin, kedengaran gelak ketawa mereka.
kelmarin, kedengaran suara riuh mereka.
kelmarin, masalah bagaikan tidak wujud.
kelmarin juga, hari yang sangat indah.
akan ku lakukan apa sahaja untuk kelmarin kembali.

Oh ye

aku tak jadi utk ke kl minggu depan.ini akibat perbuatan abg aku yg tak senonoh itu.maka, akan di-postpone dulu la.terpaksa, nak buat mcmane.lagipun, ada hal juge minggu depan.sorry miss Nats, ya.i know i've made a promise to see u.but i cudnt get away this time.juga minta maaf pada rakan2 di cyber.barang2 anda tak dapat dipulangkan seperti yg dijangka.insyaAllah hujung bulan ya, miss M & miss N.terima kaseh..huhu.

memori tersusun kemas

ok.aku dah berjaya book tiket flight.bagi mereka yg tertanya2 bile flight aku, kat sini aku akan tuliskan details nya ya.kan aku dah janji utk bgtau. *wink*
maka, aku akan berlepas pada:

3 July 2008
23:50
KLIA

mule2 tu mcm nak naik from Singapore.much much cheaper but then again, its my 1st time.my family wud probly want to send me off.and i wud want my frens to be there as well.boleh kan, kawan-kawan? (heh..tak paksa.itu hanya harapan.)...mase nak pilih time, aku teragak2 seketika.kalo pukol 9, itu terlalu awal utk aku.masa jadi lebih singkat.aku tak nak.masa buat aku, sgt precious.lagi2 sekarang ni.jadi, aku decided utk berlepas pkol 11.50pm.aku amat perlukan saat2 terakhir bersama yg tercintas.
baiklah, setakat ini sahaja.harap maklum.time kasehh.

say it out loud

a phone conversation i had with my ex-math tuition teacher the other day (this is after almost 7yrs we lost contact.he's an indian)

Him: helo.syafina.
Me: helo.cikgu.
Him: bile nak kawen niii?
Me: (laughed out loud) kawen?? mcmane nak kawenn..boyfren pun takde lagii.
Him: ye kee.skang buat ape?
Me: baru benti keje.nak sambung blaja.
Him: ye ke..sambung master eh.kat mane?
Me: melbourne.
Him: (quite) ..ye kee! meletopp!!
Me: hahahahaha
Him: hahahahaha

part meletop tu yg aku tak tahan.wahahaha.i miss him.he used to mengucap alot.pastu dok ckp ya Allah at the same time.itu bahana from teaching almost all malay students.hahaha.cant wait to see him soon.

i'm not dead, i'm calm

two weeks ago, a friend asked me "takot tak?".i answered yes.in fact, i am very scared.of what? u may ask.of everything thats regarding me going there.i never thot i'd be this terrified, u know.maybe im not ready of what's waiting for me there.im not ready to approach new things in my life.new place, new friends, new challenges..for those who knows me probly know what im talking about.fina and her forever low self-esteem.yeah.thats me.truth to be told, i am never confident with myself.let alone trusting myself to do things that are probly out of reach.the person i am now has changed a little.way better than before but not enough for the future.
then, another friend said "ko ni blum pegi dh demotivate.jgnla mcm tu weih".how can i not?huhu.alangkan kat sini pun aku menggelabah.kat sane?koma tros agaknye.but she, as always, wud never stop giving me encouragement (thank u,F).she said "take advantage.start fresh." thinking of it again..start fresh,huh.ok, that sounds not bad at all.no one wud know about my past.and i'll have the opportunity to become a new person.to change myself.to prove to myself that i can definitely do it.
...ok, aku tak boleh.dem.

jaro

aku berjaya kemas accessories & barang2 aku.sume aku letak dalam baskets ni.qoo~ satu perkara dah selesai.lepas ni ade lagi.fighting!haha

Tales

comel...u n him comel

thanx ed.

Apam geleng kepala

my room is a mess.i cant find the borrowed dvd anywhere.i cant find my clothes in any plastic bags i shoved them in.i cant even walk freely in my room.the floor is packed with all kinds of stuff.from bags of clothes to plastic bags to teddy bears, a small table, extra pillows, boxes, clothes, a big fat luggage.. etc.urghh..malas.malas.malas!was thinking of getting few cute Ikea boxes but then again im in jb.Duhh!go figure.ok,i'll sort out my stuff tomorrow only IF my laziness allows me to.haha.i have a feeling that im gonna be giving away A LOT of stuff from my room.i am definitely donating 70% of my clothes.no.make it 60% or 65%.hhaha.we'll see.

wrong reactions..ur supposed to...do this

Disisi Undang-Undang II

ok, aku salah perhitungan lagi sekali.
patutkah diabaikan?
mungkin.

kurasa susu

aku kepingin sangat nak pergi.tapi tidak kesampaian.aihh..ada sesiapa yang pergi?tolong pergi untuk aku ya.bersuka ria untuk aku.dan jangan lupa ceritakan pada aku ya.terima kaseh.

ni saster apa ni??demam ka??

Hutan Lipur Lara

ok..i've nothing else to do.therefore, i'll be updating my blog as frequent as i can.which is...quite depressing.not in a bad way thou..so i had this abc and yong tau foo for dinner.surprisingly enuf, that abc is cheap.i mean for that kind of abc anywhere else in jb, u'd probly be charged for like rm4.but this one goes for rm2.50.its hard to find cheap, delicious, tasty food in jb anymore.u cud hang out at the famous Singgah Selalu and not get good food.worse still, the price is ridiculous.or u cud hang out at a ragged old stall and get great cheap food.anyway, anytime u guys are in jb, buzz me up.i can take u to some nice places (to eat) around jb.that is within this month je la.hehe.

spekulasi tu ape??mcm ejakulasi eh??

Langkasuka

i found out the other day that i cant stay in mesia hall.dem.i'll have to find a room la.which wud be costly.somwhere near the city, perhaps.swanston street ke.i dont know.aku jadi bertambah risau.time2 cmni la hall tu nak me-renovate.9 months ok.not 9 days or 9 weeks.gilo apo.aihh..resah aku.baru ingt nak berjimat.skang ni sebok la nak tanye2 org (kawan2 abg aku) if they are looking for a roomate.if we are rich, money wudnt be a problem.but since we're struggling..i'll have to figure out ways to overcome this.keje part-time? of course.savings aku pun tak byk mane.isk..tenang..pasti ade solution.yakin.

it'll be a great loss to lose a fren like u

Say..

begini la keadaan sewaktu nak isi minyak

mcm soyal kan.aku rase cm nak tampar muke org tuh.walaupun mase mule2 dulu aku anggap dia mcm sorg atok yg sangat baik, sekarang tak lagi.ok ok..saba.fuh fuh.ayah aku ptg2 dah tepon soh isi minyak kete dia yg depan tuh.aku plak dgn baik hati nak isi kete mak aku.berkonvoi la kami.sampai2 je mmg jam lah kan.bukan kat jalan raye, kat stesen minyak.Great.just Great.saat tu mule la aku rase cm nak jual kete mak aku tu.tak pon salah satu kete ayah aku.haha.tak payah ade kete.naik moto sudey.lalala.

kasihan tahu.

Dua Tiga Dalang Berlari

dah 2 hari aku kuar ke pusat membeli-belah yg berlainan dan maseh lagi hampa sbb tak membeli ape2 pun.aku nak je bershopping dgn gaji terakhir aku nih tapi mcm tak sampai hati.haha.tiap kali mak ckp jom beli jeans, aku akan berdalih sambil ckp "tak nak ah..nak beli kt kl".pastu mak aku tanye balik "sbb ape nak beli kat sane?"."sbb yg sane lagi byk choices.and i nak beli jeans pink".salah satu alasan utk aku ke kl smule nnt.lalala.naseb la aku ade bekap lain.

contoh:
1.kamera cik N yg aku bawak balik
2.tupperware kepunyaan cik S
3.dvd grey's anatomy cik M yg byk tu

hopefully mak aku bagi aku ke kl nnt.amiiinnn.leh aku ronggeng.hahaha.cik Nats ade byk planning, so aku akan menyertai plan2 dia yg agak merepek.i mean, of course its us who gave u those crazy ideas, cik Nats. *wink* i cant wait to blow my mind off.seriously.aku nak have fun dgn yg tercintas.(ramai yg tercinta, maka ditambah 's' kat situ.haha) baiklah.stop dulu utk entry ini.

"sori la i dragged u into that shit"
nicely said.well done.

Disisi Undang-Undang

salah ke perhitungan aku?
ok, aku paranoid.

Hebat ke tak?

aku bangga dapat memiliki ini

akhirnya..aku dah kat jb.home sweet home? tak jgk la.bangun2 je aku dah dgr suara2 bertempik kat depan.kebetulan pintu bilik aku terbukak.terpaksa dgr suara2 tu.aihhh..sampai bila?aku pun tak pasti.ape yg pasti, aku terpaksa pekak kan telinga dan sabar sampai ujung bulan.lepas tu aku takkan dgr dah suara2 bertempik tu.bagus!saat ni aku bosan tahap gaban.tak tau nak buat ape kat umah.mungkin akan kemas bilik? mungkin akan kemas umah? mungkin pegi ke CS? atau mungkin tido balik? hahha..cukup la dgn tido.semalam aku tido 12jam.rekod terbaik aku setakat ni.lala.

aku semcm nak pegi mengadap mereka dan mengatakan to their face
"now u see the reason why i dont want to go back home"

Banana Rama Rama

i was excited when i found out about this bazaar.so M and Z along with Z's sister and super cute Iman picked me up in cj and we went straight to bangsar.the place was packed i tell ya.but we managed to squeeze our way inside.there were of course lots and lots of clothes, accessories, food etc.aku jadi rambang mate sampai tak tau nak beli ape.haha.we met F and i bought her happy pill t-shirt (i promise i'll bring it to melbourne!to promote as well).then each of us bought these kul necklaces.tgk aa M dgn Z pakai nnt.anyway, we went to MV rite after that.they treat me kat Chilli's.and they also bought me a lovely gift.thank youuu so much.i like. (^_^) pastu bantai plak karok kat kajang.best best.hehehe.thanks for everything! kite jumpe hari isnin yah.