Beautiful Disaster

Coke with Mentos

Jom buat! ngee~

Can i have a ciggie?

cool is..

be seen smoking a ciggie.

cool is..

aimlessly puffing smoke into air.

cool ke isap rokok?nak jugak.

Tagged!

Tagged by Shy Hair

1. Yourself: Cool
2. Your partner: none
3. Your hair: thin
4. Your mother: sensitive
5. Your father: patient
6. Your favorite item: bubblegum necklace
7. Your dream last night: dreamless
8. Your favorite drink: coke
9. Your dream car: mazda
10. The room you are in: cold
11. Your ex: asshole
12. Your fear: pain
13. What you want to be in 10 years: young
14. Who you hung out with last night: housemates
15. What you're not: kind
16. Muffins: Yumm..!
17: One of your wish list items: Xiperia X1
18: Time: turn back
19. The last thing you did: walked
20. What you are wearing: threads
21. Your favorite weather: warm
22. Your favorite book: chich-lit
23. The last thing you ate: mee
24. Your life: average
25. Your mood: awkward
26. Your best friend: myself
27. What you're thinking about right now: b
28. Your car: old
29. What you are doing at the moment: staring
30. Your summer: huh?
31. Your relationship status: smingle
32. What is on your TV: antenna
33. What is the weather like: burning
34. When was the last time you laughed: lunch

tagging:

Sarinana
Nashbecks
Miss Whatever
Farrhana
Farah
Nathlish

joana

tukar fikiran.nak amik gamba cmni lah.boleh kan N?

...spotless mind

hari tu aku menonton Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind sorg2 kat umah.mase mule2 tu aku mmg tak faham ape motive cite nih.ntahape2.tapi eri-kun kate tgk jee..nnt dia explain kat ujung2 tu.so aku pun tgk je la.sambil aku tgk, sambil aku mengeluh sendiri.tak faham.tapi ramai suke tgk cite ni.takpe..layankan aje.rupe2 nye cite ni focus kat diorg yg nak erase their unwanted memories forever.hmm..menarik.

maka..tatkala ini, aku berharap kat mesia ade technology sebegini.aku akan jadi salah seorg di antara berjuta yg nak memadam memori.dgn itu, aku boleh mulakan hidup yg baru.tak perlu nak wallow in sorrow lagi.yeah..bagus kalo ade benda tu wujud.

mungkin aku dah sewel.eh...tak kot.haha

wallow in my sorrow

hemorrhage

–verb (used without object)
4.to bleed profusely.

monday..greets me with sadness.i cant seem to find solace anywhere.ahh..the pain that i have to go thru is unbearable.i've prepared for this but when it happened, i lose control.never expected it to hit me hard on the face.well..served me rite, i guess.padan muke ko fina..tapi,sedih sial.eventho dah expect for it to happen, aku tetap tak dapat nak overcome.

mintak maaf.aku terpaksa erase seorg kawan dari hidup aku.
sebab...despair & regret terlalu overwhelming utk aku.

Chapter One

i've finished Chapter One from a self-titled book, My Life. dont get me wrong, this is not a book u can find anywhere whether in the bookstore or library.this is a book i carry with me all the time all my life.yeah.im the book.it took me a while to finish my Chapter One but now that its done, i could say that i am glad.am i?or am i in denial? *sigh* i dont know. but what you can expect in Chapter Two is that, one of the characters in my life wud be gone.for good, i hope.he didnt have to say i'm sorry.i'd totally understand.yeah..
so..there goes the 1st chapter.Chapter Two would really really start when im somewhere else.i hope it wud be better than the 1st one.amiinnn.. (i've been asking for a lot of things kan skang) aihh..tak penah cukup.tak penah puas.thats why we are human beings. *wink*

Kenangan tahun lepas

aku baru terjumpe kertas ni.dah lupe pun akan kewujudannye.hehe.teringt mase hari tu.aku seronok...rindu pule kat pedd.

mini maini mini mo

ok.i've decided.i'll be going to the showcase 1st then i'll go to the concert..
cheers!

Event Agenda

tattoo yg full version kat blakang minah ni lagi cun sebenanye.

event agenda?hmm..mcm penah bace somewhere je.hahaha.anyway, lepas keje tadi kami pegi OU nonton bayang.cite tu ha..refer kat gamba yg kat atas tu.best gak ah.walaupun aku kerap kali tutup mate (sbb masuk abuk bukan sbb takot..) aku tetap enjoy cite tu.hahaha.mesti ade seseorg rase cm nak sepak aku sbb aku kate tak takot nengok cite tuh.lalala~ tgk la cite tu kawan2.menarik jgk la bagi aku.suspen ok.baiklah, rase cm nak tido. (^_^)

* im still thinking over the showcase & the concerto.nak pegi yg mane satu neh.

serendipity

Can Once In A Lifetime Happen Twice?

Dont cry, Argentina

rite now..im trying my hardest not to cry.i can't cry..i have to enjoy this moment while it lasted, kan.aahhh..susah utk tidak merasa sebak.dem.tadi *Cece ade berkate sesuatu dgn aku.

Cece: i heard that ur going to OZ..M is it?thats nice.
Me: yeah..kinda.
Cece: its nice.its something u have to do.thats good.
Me: im kinda nervous.
Cece: well..we'll definitely gonna miss you.ur smile every morning.
Me: yeah..me too. (tahan sebak)

walaupun mila kate:

[2:39 PM] sharmila: eh hahahaha
[2:39 PM] sharmila: sebenarnye smile itu nightmare
[2:39 PM] fina: HAHHAHAHA
[2:39 PM] fina: cissss
[2:39 PM] fina: dengkiiii

aku tetap rase sedih.pasti.

*Cece bukan nama sebenar

Pengemis Hati yg Sewel

fatal attraction means:

BAHAYA

if you happen to be in that situation, get out of it cepat!

aku benci situasi aku sekarang.aku takmo jadi sorg pengemis hati.sudah2 la tu fina oi..some things are not meant to be yours.yeah, i know that.tapi taleh nak predict hati kan.rase guilty maseh ade tapi bile dah dekat, the G word doesnt exist.pelik.bile jauh boleh plak pikir secara rationale..bile dekat, jadi irrational.itu lah org panggil Sewel.hahaha.eh?aku maseh mampu bergelak ketawa.Sewel.

lalala.

Aku sedang ingin...Audrey Kawasaki

Odaijini

aku nak GelaSkin nih..ade tak yg baik hati nak belikan? hahaha..

Abel sayang Aku

fina: promise eh abel
fina: :)
abel: ok
abel: ok
fina: okie
fina: sayang abel
fina: :x
fina: hahaha
abel: thanks sayang
abel: :x
fina: :))

*abel panggil aku sayang.hahahaha.cute la that boy.. *pok pok*

Pasti Boleh

yaa..aku pasti boleh, kan?aku mmg jarang yakin dgn diri sendiri.seorang yg sgt low self-esteem.itulah aku.perlu ade kawan2 utk bagi semangat.kalo tak, aku mmg taleh nak idup.abeh tu, cmne nnt?kat tempat org aku nak harapkan sape?takpe, ayong ade.tapi dia pasti akan suruh aku independent.he's always like that.saying "ur a big girl, why should u be scared?u have the language, u can speak, be brave, nana.benda kecik je."..or kalo aku terlalu segan utk bertanye, dia akan ckp "go ask urself." sambil buat muke kelat.aku tak suke kalo dia ckp cmtu.menyampah.tapi..betol la ape yg dia ckp.aihh..aku ni pengecut sgt.to the extend that i have to be frequently reminded that i'm a big girl.all grown up.takkan itu pun nak mtk tlg org lagi.tak reti2 nak bukak mulut and bertanye or bercakap?..sesungguhnye aku ni bila part2 nak bertanye mmg segan.org kate, segan tak bertempat.

tp ape yg org tak tau..aku ni takot.bukan tak nak tanye tapi takot.jgn tanye aku takotkan ape.sbb aku pun tak tau nak jwb kenape.aku bukan seorg yg extrovert.tak reti aku nak bermesra dgn surroundings.nak mulekan perbualan pun susah utk aku.bile nak tanye org, hati aku debar2..nervous mcm nak pengsan, takot tersalah ckp.nnt org tak faham ke.tersinggung ke.tp org tak tau tu...yg org tau, aku dah besar so why shud i be scared.aihh..ntah la.aku sendiri pun tak faham dgn diri sendiri.kdg2 kartika aku bermonolog, ade jgk tanye diri sendiri.."ko ni kenape fina?tak pandai.bukannye susah nak bercakap.ape masalah ko pun aku tak tau."...pagi tadi aku mmg nervous..aku kalo dh nervous mmg taleh dibendung.plak tu nak bgtau yg aku nak resign.lagi la mcm haram.kalo tak kerana mila bagi semangat (sebenanye lebih kepade pakse.hahaha) aku takkan bgtau lagi kot.huhu..terima kaseh mila..saye sgt bertime kaseh.tanpe mila dan juge rakan2 lain, pasti fina tak boleh. *sedih sedih*

leave me to myself

aku nervous.
dah sampai tahap gaban dah ni.
mcmane aku nak mule ckp?
ahh..
apesal la susah sgt utk aku berckp?
bukannye aku buat salah.
tapi still..
mungkin maseh blom cukup kekuatan?
or just plain scared?
ya.aku penakut.
takut pade benda yg tak relevant.
isk..
nervous.nervous.

Awan membawa rindu

Events that i'll miss:

1. Birthdays, obviously (bday parents, kenkawan..)
2. Hari Raya (pastinye aku xdpt celebrate dgn yg tercinta & pastinye aku meraung mcm org gile)
3. Kenduri (kazen tercinta kawen bulan 7 tp aku tak sempat nak hadirkan diri..sedih)
4. New born babies (naseb seblom pegi sempat tgk 2 babies yg akan kuar bulan 6)

dan yg paling pasti..

5. ... (sorry, tak dpt abeskan ayat buat mase ni.aku nak nanges.haha)

Happy Burstday!!

Happy Burstday, Zam-Zam Ala Kazammmm..!
May god bless you.
May your wish come true.

Zam merupakan author kepada blog Karipap Daging yg sgt menarik..juga merupakan colleague aku yg sgt best.maka, semoga panjang umur, murah rezeki ye.

*wishing someone happy birthday makes me realize the things and events which i wont be able to celebrate together soon. *sigh*

Girls who are boys

White Town is a work of one man and he's an Indian.i mistaken him to a white New York trash guy.the song Your Woman was a one-hit-wonder.no surprise there.but i like that song.has been one of my favourites for the past 16 years.yeah..that long.masa zaman 90's aku layan la mamat nih, suede, garbage, blur dan yg seangkatan dgn mereka.lagu2 diorg mmg best.kdg2 tu mcm rase quality lagu2 dulu is far better than today's songs.no doubt there are numbers of good songs nowadays.i admit that.but yeah..i miss the good old days.

kesucian kuu..

aku kena rogol dengan mila.
aku dah tak suci.
hahahaha.

seronot hingga menjilat err..jari?

i got up at 630 this morning, dah siap2 i rushed to LDP.takot jam.i had to go back to the Immigration to pick up my passport.tak nak la tangguh2 dah.biar buat skang..kang kelam kabut lagi.so..kol 715 dah kat LDP.pecut tak hingat dunia ok.aku tak nak queue lame2 sbb nak pegi keje.takkan nak half-day again.mau kena tenungan maut dari si J.she wont be too keen if i were to take another half-day off.dah pecut2 tu..maka, aku sampai la.jalan laju gak sbb nak jadi antara org yg pertama queue.hahhaa..sampai2 je, mamat no giliran tu ckp, tayah amik number.just go to the Kaunter 16.so i went la..along with few people.tgk2 kat Kaunter 16 tu, there was nobody there.but there's a guy at Kaunter 17.but no one was asking him anything..i thot.. "mati la nak tgu mamat Kaunter 16 dtg..lambat la sampai office." jap lagi, there was this kakak pegi ke Kaunter 17 and she got a number from that guy, and she sat down.

i asked her..
"akak nak amik paspot ke?kena amik number ke?oo..tapi mamat tadi kate tak payah"..
"laa..kena amik eh.ok takpe, nnt tanye mamat Kaunter 17"..

so after kakak tu blah with her pasport.i went second.tanye abg tu plak..

"nak kena amik number ke?mamat tu kate tak payah?"..
abg tu reply.."sape kate tak yah?"..."mamat tu la..yg kat ujung tu.dia kate pegi je ke Kaunter 16"...abg tu reply lagi..katenye dgn nada gurau senda, "pegi balik sane marah mamat tu".haha..

aku hanye mampu gelak je.kakak yg sebelum aku tu number 8001.aku plak 8002.best best.duduk jap, pastu tros dapat number.aku sgt berterima kaseh kat mamat Kaunter 17 tu.sebelom aku blah, dia sempat wish Good Luck kat aku.and that coming from a friendly stranger, amat bermakna buat aku.tak kesah la..at least dia amik tau hal aku walaupun sket je yg aku share.anyway, lepas tu..aku rushing smule.nak sampai ke office tepat pade masenye.aku kuar ke sprint highway kol 9.apalaga..pecut tak hingat dunia lagi skali la.aku tak kesah ade polis ke takde ke..kete2 yg kat depan aku sume aku sondol.hahahha..kalut ok.jap lagi...tanpa aku ade niat nak ber-racing, ade mamat satria ni ha.sebok2 plak nak potong aku.heh, sorry aa babe! walaupun aku amateur bawak kete ni..aku tetap dapat kalah kan ko dgn bergaye.best driver wins lah.

maka, conclusionnye..i arrived 7 minutes after 930 and i am proud of myself.aku berjaye!
*tepuk tepuk* huahua..ok lepas ni, aku akan drive dgn penuh tatasusila.

Sekerat Hari

*peta yg berselirat utk ke tempat kejadian

hari ni aku half-day.nak kena pegi ke immigration la plak.aihhh..malas betol.dah la aku fail jalan2 ke damansara tuh.mau sesat ni kang.takpe2, relax je.kalo sesat tepon GPS kat office.hahaha.tapi apesal ntah neves nak pegi sane.mcm ade sesuatu yg akan berlaku je?ish...takde ape kot.aku ni..suke neves bila tak sepatutnye neves.harapnye sume berjalan dgn lancar.

*taleh tahan neves siot.aaaaa..sewel.

**update update: aku dgn jayanye sampai ke destinasi.ingtkan leh siap hari ni gak.jap lagi brader tu kate kalo after 2:30 siap keesokan harinye.aihhh..agak sia2 gak la aku pegi.kalo tau tu, pagi2 tadi dah aku tercongok kat situ.tapi takpelah, yg penting satu perkara dah selesai.alhamdulillah..
***jap lagi nak balik, aku xtau jalan.hahaha.tanye la brader tadi tu.konon2 nyer aku faham la ape dia ckp,angguk2 je.pastu dah masuk kete bagai, tersalah jalan pulok.lala~ aku ni sungguh careless.tapi akhirnye, aku jumpe je jalan tu.chill.hahahaha.so, esok aku akan pegi smule ke tempat kejadian.tapi pagi2 tebu la.caiyok!

Ciss cake betol la

adeehh..aku kena tagged.isk.

miLLa~ La tagged me with this;

This is another of those Linky Love games where you only have to tag 5 person in one post but still there is no actual limit (you can tag more if you want!). Once tagged, you have to copy paste the link in this post, and make them grow!

Do not delete any of the links and be honest to yourself!

BennyLiew, RamblingMoo, Mum & Kids In Wonderland, Judelittle, Our mini blogsphere, Rooms in My Heart, J@n!ce Ng, ChinNee, Jo-N, LadyJava’s Lounge, Mariuca’s Perfume Gallery, Ramblings of The Phat, Laydiefa’s ~ t w i s t e d ~ a n g e l ~, Xumb’s Karipap Daging, Donnie's merepek,Full Of Hatred, bonana


So I’m passing the Lilac heart to;

Cat Angel
KittySyazana
Natasya

*boleh tak tag cik milala lagi skali? hahaha

The Younger The Wiser?

She is one of my closest cousins and she was ahead from the rest of us in terms of having 'fun'.she was young when she moved to Sarawak.and since then, we've been informed about her doings over there.she was beautiful, naive, innocent and also a victim from a dysfunctional family.i wud say she was tempted to do certain things that we never thot of doing.she learned to smoke, to drink and take pills..yeah, she was 'in' and up-to-date with whats happening for someone at her age.over the years, she came back here and became the niece everyone cared about.it didnt matter much for us, the cousins because me myself felt the same way as my aunties did.i cared because she's younger and she has a long way to go.so, after she was fixed up to continue her degree in unikl, i was worried.wud she be able to redeem herself? wud she do her best? wud she flunk? i cudnt trust her and i was thinking about all the possible outcomes..but mostly the negative ones because i know how she's like.lagi2 la bile dah dok kat kota durjana ni kan.i know what she's up to.

so, last friday i went to her place in kg.baru because the next day we'd have to go to PD plak.ade kenduri.i arrived at about 9 something and we went straight for dinner.she invited a fren along, Boy. and they were talking about the subjects they're taking..assignments and so on.i was just sitting back and listening.from their conversation, i learned that she's been doing great.that was a shocker to me.but..Alhamdulillah.she finally rose up from her turmoil.her final results are great.and she's aiming for better grades.sitting in front of her, i thot..where did the Nataska i knew go?she was ALOT better than before althou she still smokes and have 'fun'. she mite be weak in that aspect but she earned my respect because she has proven to herself and others that she can do it.she has become my role model in an instant.she has become a good older sister to her brother.which i am happy about.she's even thinking of buying her brother a laptop using her own monies.kalo nak mtk mak dia, jgn harap la dapat.

i hope she remains like that..being a good sister to the brother, a good daughter to the parents especially to her dad and also a better person for her future.i wont be here to give advices or look after her but hopefully she can take good care of herself.amiiinn.

Terrible Twos

"The Terrible Twos"

hari ni tak bape sihat, takde selera nak makan tapi aku tetap kekalkan ke-Happy-an aku. sbb..hari ni mmg Happy.haha..ataupun mungkin aku dah Gila. tapi aku seronok la hari ni. sbb utama..hari ni aku maseh hidup.alhamdulillah.

Happy Mappy Friday!

i was browsing thru Digg and i found this! the Map of World Happiness. and im happy that Mesia is a Happy Country! yayy! let's be Happy guys! Cheers.

My Fascination

Stellar Jewel Box
*Thousands of sparkling young stars are nestled within the giant nebula NGC 3603, one of the most massive young star clusters in the Milky Way Galaxy.

i am too fascinated with anything that has to do with the sky..galaxies.dari kecik aku mcm ni.malam2 suke tgk bintang.tapi tak la melebih2 sampai study betul2 pasal ni sume.it starts with just spending the nite outside staring at the sky.trying to count the stars and imagining what shape they mite be sampai mase tu aku dapat figure out the 7 brightest stars, Big Dipper.tapi mase tu tak tau la name dia Big Dipper, cuma nampak shape dia yg mcm frying pan.kat uni plak, fascination aku tak terlalu ketara tapi, ade la mase final tu.org lain dok bace notes for the last time.aku pegi library pinjam buku on constellations.aihh..mane tak results mengecewakan.haha.takpe2.dah lepas.so, anyway..eventhou aku tak study pasal galaxy sume ni..aku still appreciate kejadian Tuhan.tersangat menarik.and i cant describe how much i love to just sit and stare at the sky.mungkin satu hari nnt..

Laluan Susu

*click for larger view

spectacular panorama above the San Francisco Peaks, surrounded by a lenticular cloud. you can see the Milky Way Galaxy arcs diagonally from the lower left to the upper right. highlighted by the constellations of Cassiopeia, Cepheus and Cygnus. and..on the far right is the North America Nebula.tibe2 je post pasal milky way.kenape? sbb aku suke.bintang, galaxy, milky way..sume2 tu menarik minat.

Walking Table Cloth

oh ye.i got my parcel yesterday.yayy! so, meaning..i got the Quirky Plaid! (^_^)v
i looove it.walaupun Fudge memberi komen ikhlas tapi kurang membina, aku tak kesah.sbb aku suke.it's okay..that's just not her taste probably.anywhoo, im glad it arrived in one piece.lagi satu, Fudge, sankyu for filling in my space in the house.saved me alot from having to advertise.

i have a feeling today's gonna be a good day.hope so.

Pukul Tiga Suku Pagi..

..maseh lagi tak dapat tido.terima kaseh.
..teringat kat Cotton Candy.sgt nak makan itu di waktu sebegini.sedapnyee. (si gigi manis mmg suke mkn ni)
..budak 3org ni dah terbongkang kat living room ni ha.lagi 2org maseh berjage dalam bilik.sorg tido dalam bilik.sorg lg kat umah dia.eh,ramai betol osmet ye.kah kah
..cant wait to give pressies.
..perot kosong.
..in few hours dah kena pegi keje.isk.
..tido lah.
..good morning.bye.

Life In Mono

* kartika menunggu bas yg tak bape ekspress

today, 17 April 2008, we will be celebrating two of our colleagues burstday.as usual, cake was ordered earlier and at tea time we will go to the pantry and yeah..burstday song will be sung, blowing out few candles, slicing the cake into small pieces..then, done.back to our normal routine..but to me, the best parts involve singing the burstday song and eating the burstday cake.yumm! oh.dem.i'll be celebrating my burstday without my parents. *mata berair* sob..aihh..skang ni amat emotional.maka, minta maaf kepada kepada mereka yg menganggap menanges adalah sesuatu yg lame.mungkin mereka agak tak gemar bace recent entries yg agak emo.
sekian.

Tagging Myself

i read a colleague's blog and one of his entries was about this tag (below).althou he didnt tag me, im interested to write something on this.soo..i tagged myself.u dont mind rite, xumb? *wink* so here i go

(Frequently Asked Annoying Questions)

1. Kenape org panggil ko Bulat?

this has been frequently asked since i was in Form 4.kenape eh?sbb..arwah Jehan (a close fren) said that im too thin.so she suggested a name (Bulat) sebagai satu doa for me to somehow berisi sket.and that nick name sticks until now.from skool ke universiti.bile masuk kerja, dah tak gune sbb segan. =p but if any of you guys nak panggil me with that name, i dont mind.

2. Dah ade boifren / yg berkenan? bile nak ade boifren?

ahhh..dah nak dekat 5 thn aku dgr solan ni.bingit.bile jawab takde..tak pecaye.baik tayah tanye.kang bile dah ade, aku buat announcement.paste kat frenster..buat status etc.ok?

3. Bile nak sambung study?

kalo sebelum ni..i wasnt able to answer but now i can.i am going to pursue my study.soon.confirmed date will be posted. (soo..whoever..u can stop asking okie?)

4. Asal dah berisi? or "ko dah gemut" (kdg2 ayat penyata)

asal eh dah berisi? sbb aku makan.dah tak depress lagi.hari2 kejatuhan dah lame berlalu.now im on top of the ferris wheel.jadi..life has been great so far and my eating appetite has changed.i like to eat eventhou sebenanye tak nak gemuk.but yeah..selagi i can eat, i eat.dah taleh makan kang suffer plak.

so there! my frequently asked annoying questions..yg lain2 tak ingt but i can always add later later.

Wonderful Wednesday

hari ni on leave.had some business to take care of.iaitu:

1. pegi ptptn kat damansara nak mtk tangguh bayar loan; jap lagi dia soh pegi yg kat kl sentral plak.hmpph..!wasted rm3.50 utk parking yg tak sampai sejam tu.soo..pegi la plak ke sentral.dah borak2 dgn kakak kaunter tuu..blah la.

2. pegi ke midvalley plak.ade shopping business kat sane.i bought a delayed bday present and also a bday/goodbye present.tibe2 rase cm best plak beli brg utk org.hahaha.

tu je sebenanye business saye.hari ni hujan lebat yg menyebabkan saye memandu dgn kelajuan tahap kura-kura.takpe, biar lambat asal selamat kate ruumate.yeah..tp nak dekat sampai umah tu, ade perkara pelik yg telah berlaku yg mengakibatkan jantung kami berdua berdebar2.aahhh..abaikan.asalkan kete tak kemek, tayar tak pancit..cukup ber-alhamdulillah..soo, tu je lah cite hari rabu yg indah.

Terima Kasehh

ok...im not mad at that saiko lizard anymore.skang dah elok dari trauma..hahaha.anyway, saye di sini nak mengucapkan time kaseh kepada sorg insan yg telah bagi jawapan yg saye cari.

"Sankyu bery much. ur encouraging words will be kept for as long as i can.ur support wont be wasted.i've been contemplating and my paranoia got worse.but ur there to save the day.sankyu again!"

and saye pun terharu gak sbb kawan2 lain mmg byk bagi nasihat, semangat yg cukup utk buat saye rase..loved and cared. sankyu guys.takde la rase invisible sgt di mata2 anda semua. (mungkin aku perasan je lebih tapi takpe la skali skala.hehe)

Ko Pegi Matiiii...!!

aku tgh elok2 mandi dgn senang hati..jap lagi aku nampak sekor cicak haram.apalaga..aku menjerit mcm org gile.bongok nye cicak!! trus terbantut aku nak sambung unfinished business aku.tapi naseb la ade lagi satu shower.sengal aaaaaaaaa cicak bangang!!! geLLi..! pegi jauh2 boleyh tak? sengal.

*osmet sume tak dapat membantu sbb diorg pun same je geli ke cicak haram tuh.

The Tension of Opposite

these are taken from that book up there; a heart-warming story

(i highly recommend this book to you;there's a muvi as well but unfortunately i cant find it)

"Life is a series of pulls back and forth. you want to do one thing but you're bound to do something else. something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't. you take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted."

its true what Morrie said, when we want to do this one thing, something else comes up. when we know the consequences of our acts, we ignore them and let ourselves get hurt. when we have precious things or dear people in our lives, we take them for granted.
im one of those who often take things for granted. i dont appreciate the things i own. for example, my ipod. my brother gave it to me and what do i do with it? i leave it anywhere i want. at times i wud forget where i place it. then baru la nak panik. same goes to my camera. mase mule2 bukan main la sayang, simpan elok2. now, the casing is gone, and dah ade calar2 everywhere and i dont even use it anymore.haihh..mmg betol2 tak appreciate.bile dah takde baru mencari.
itu ok lagi..but when it involves family and friends..i am a true unappreciative person.well, not that unappreciative but at times i forget the sacrifices they made. im sorry..im still in the process to be a better person.hopefully soon, before i hurt more people. i cant be too selfish and everything must not be about me all the time. yeah..i know.

"A tension of opposite, like a pull on a rubber band. and most of us live somewhere in the middle."

yeah..i admit. i am in the middle. so what? so fina..change. i cant live like this forever.not being appreciated is the last thing people wud want from me. and im sure i wudnt want people to do that to me as well. when others appreciate you..its priceless. tapi tu lah...terkadang tu kite lupe. terlalu alpa dgn duniawi. maka..kite slow-down lah ye.

Currently

.: i just got back from jb

.: i cried while ym-ing with frens

.: im cold and i feel like eating

.: am alone in the house..housemates seperti biase mmg tiade waktu wiken

.: dont feel like going to work tomorrow and since i've applied for leave, i still cant decide whether to go or not.but if i dont go then what will i do at home?

.: rase mcm nak abeskan gaji tu dalam mase terdekat dgn membeli brg sesuke hati.

.: berada dalam keadaan yg fragile.taleh pikir benda sedih, nnt cepat je nak nangis.aihh..penangis betol.

.: tgh bengang dgn Cik Paa.i wont ever ask for a favor. aku tak suke kete ko yg bising bunyi ekzos.memekak.kalo tak kerana aku terpakse,mmg tak naik nyer.

.: hoping for sesuatu yg tak pasti

.: tgh pikir nak beli byk present utk bday org2 yg dah lepas.lalala~

::okay...setakat ini saje dulu ye.nak berehat::

Turn Around, Bright Eyes

am feeling sad at this moment.

Di Saat Aku Menangis

perasaan menyesal menyelubungi aku.sepatutnye bile balik ke umah, aku spend time dgn bermanja2 bersama mama & baba.tapi aku tak buat.sbb ape?malas nak layan.aihh..ape nak jadi dgn diri aku ni.baba takde pegi pulau.tinggal mama dgn ayong.ayong mcm biase dok terperap dlm bilik.aku lepak je kat luar dgn mama.pastu bile dia mtk aku carik uban, aku tak mau.kurang ajar gak kan aku ni..

"mama..maaf ye.mama tau kan anak pompuan mama ni pemalas.aihh....tapi, insyAllah adik akan ubah perangai jelek ni.bile adik balik umah lagi, adik cari uban pastu sikat2 rambut mama.ye la..tak lame lagi adik tak de kat sini kan.tinggal mama dgn baba je.adik sedih laa.."

aku ni..kalo korg nak tau, byk sgt buat salah kat parents.terlampau byk.maka, bile nak berhijrah, rase tak sampai hati nak tinggalkan diorg.tapi aku rase..kalo aku berhijrah, pastu aku balik dgn bawak kejayaan..pasti mereka akan bangga kan?pasti mereka tak menyesal kan?aku harap aku tak jadi sampah kat sane.aku pengecut jadi aku harap bile aku balik, i am a new person with hopefully, a great personality.amiinnn..

"ma..ba..adik takkan lupekan jasa2 korg.dah byk sacrifice utk anak2.jadi, adik kena usaha and tunjuk pade ma dgn ba yg adik boleh buat."

**sorry.entry ni agak emo but yeah..

Ai ♥ Yu

i want to go back and need to sleep.
kroohh..kroohh..

Quirky Plaid

fuschia or dark blue?

i've done some survey.
and here's the results:

5 votes for fuschia
3 votes for blue

Fuschia it is.
Yayy!

Where Have They Gone To?

*not a good angle.sorry

it has been ages since i last play this stick thing.i remembered how i loved to play them with my cousins back at kampung.but the ones i recalled were made from plastic not wood, rite?they came in blue, red, yellow etc colors.how i loved the challenge which is to not move other sticks when picking up a stick.ahh..those were the days when we used to play real congkak instead of virtual congkak..we played "masak-masak"..panjat trees..batu seremban..and ape tu?ceper?the caps from bottled drinks tu..yeah, ceper..compared to now.kids (AND adults) play pc games like Warcraft, Counterstrike, what else..some football games la and few others.everything is computerised kan nowadays..we are developing but our tradition is not supposed to (my opinion la).

ke manakah hilang nya permainan tradisi kita?

*dear friends..pls list the games u used to play in the comment area, if u dont mind la.let us reminisce the past together ya. *wink*

Re-Imagining YOUR City

i was invited by a fren to go to this art show at Zouk and i went because i was excited about it since a month before.it was called Re-Imagining the City East Asia Tour.basically it shows how important artists, architects, film-makers, designers etc are to the development of creative cities and also in shaping the quality of life in our city.few individuals from KL (artists) were chosen including a fren of mine (i consider him as a fren..hehe) to take part in the project.it was a success, althou one of the screen (out of 4) was in bad shape.meaning there were lines and we cant see properly (sorry i dont know how to explain..hahaha).

anywhoo, the Djs were awesome.two of them are cute!and there were free flow of Heineken all nite.opss..hahaa.dont worry..i dont drink.eventhou i yawned for i-dont-know-how-many-times, i still enjoyed the show.it was the 1st time for me to go for things like that (theres always the 1st time rite?).ooo...no wonder la i was excited, kan.lalala~

so yaa..thats about it.i'll be posting again.laterrr..

You Got Me Begging You For Mercy

Songs means alot and they remind me of certain events and people in my life

1. 50 Cent - Just A Little Bit .. reminds me of Papa (Apek)
2. Letto - Ruang Rindu .. the PD trip with my housemates; baring kat tepi pantai kol 12lbh sambil dgr lagu ni.
3. Color Me Badd - The Earth, The Sun, The Rain .. zaman2 90's.byk lagi sebenanye; yg ni di antarenye la.
4. Los Lobos - Beautiful Maria of My Soul .. reminds me of my mom (her favourite song)
5. Any Raya Songs .. when we were in Bandung and me & mom cried because Ayong wasn't there
6. Green Day - Macy's Day Parade .. Ashare sang this on stage and he rocked the house!
7. Little Peggy March - I Will Follow Him .. i sang this in our old Saga when i was 10 or 12 yrs old
8. Mono - Life In Mono .. my all time favourite
9. The Wannadies - You and Me .. makes me smile everytime
10. Farawahida - Tanpamu .. this used to be Papa Boy's song; skang tiap kali dgr, nak muntah.hahaha
11. The Cranberries - Dreams .. Karate Kid.. Haiyaakk!!
12. Alicia Keys - Like You'll Never See Me Again .. our trip to Penang; bersiar2 naik kete al-Viva
13. Catch 22 - 1234, 1234 .. confession of a football freak
14. Fuel - Hemorrhage .. a close fren's favourite; and now it's my fav plak
15. Kitaro - Matsuri .. reminds me of Mama Nisaaaaaa....! nun jauh kat langkawi tu ha

what about yours? Milala? i tau u suke lagu ape.hahaha

Foolish

*click to enlarge

in·fat·u·a·tion (ĭ-fāch'ōō-ā'shən)

1. A foolish, unreasoning, or extravagant passion or attraction.
   
2. An object of extravagant, short-lived passion.

there was this fine day when i thot that i liked someone..and he liked me too.but now i think both of us realized that it was just an infatuation.dem.how cud it be infatuation?? i liked him..since forever.then when i knew he liked me too..the feeling has gone.weird, i know.but it happened.and now we're like "apesal ko sombong weh"..not knowing wat else to say to each other. *sigh* whyyyy??huhuhu..i want him to like me.and i want me to like him.there must be something wrong in between rite?one day we like each other and the next day we just pretend that it didnt happened.aihh..wats wrong with us?

Between The Lines

Tuesday

F: nak tgk kasut baru
S: mane ade kasut baru
F: eleh jgn nak tipoo.bak meh tgk
S: mcm kasut org jepun
F: comeyyy..nak!
S: mane boleh
F: ceh.
S: nnt nak kena stapler la.
F: stapler???
S: eh..plaster.
F: hahahahahahahahaha.. (gelak guling2)

Sadness Runs Through Her

this morning i was happy.but now a little bit of sorrow came on me.actually, i been imagining myself crying over this matter a while ago.and i know i wont be able to handle it.true.i cudnt.not that easy at least.i'll be missing everyone badly.oh..i dreaded sad moments.especially like in this case.i remembered telling a fren that i wudnt want to go because i'll miss everyone.she laughed hard and said "ko ni comey aa fina".yes.she said that.huhuhu..i'll be definnitely reminiscing the past, my family, you guys, the food.. *sigh* hooowwwww??? aku takot ok.scared of everything.scared of leaving,scared of learning,scared of new place,aliens,new friends,scared to miss you guys and especially scared to leave my parents.any advise to me my dearies?

Topsy Turvy

Guys...!! I GOT IT!!!!!! im going to Melbourne!! hahahahhaha..im too happy rite now! i just the call this morning and i feel like telling the world world.hehehe..okay2.not the whole world but those who are close and near..families (of course) and friends.Alhamdulillah...akhirnya my anticipation is answered.i want to jump, scream, kiss and hugg!! but not rite now...im still at the office and its just 12 o'clock.i cant wait to go home..or better yet, not go home.hahahahha...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! i am H-Happeeeee...lalalalala~

Peanuts, Anyone?

Free Fall Plunge

i knew.when i made that decision, i am putting myself and others in jeopardy.i questioned myself over and over whether what im doing is right or wrong.i found the answer but it leads to yet another sad ending which im afraid wud leave behind a nasty scar (scar?sorry.i cant find the right word yet.haha).what we've gained years ago wud probably be different, now that things are getting out of hand.feelings are involved.loyalty is in questioned.nerves are shaking.minds are blowing.Dem.i hate this situation when it involves the feelings i've been keeping in a locked safety box.to feel things again is a torturous chore.
now..i feel like standing on top of a cliff and let myself fall freely, and crash.the perfect plunge, i imagine..wud be exhilarating.i think i'd find peace and total freedom on my way down.wudnt u think so?just let go of everything and..Jump! spread ur hands,hold ur head high,smile and embrace the moment while it lasted.aahhh...that wud be nice rite?

A Perfect Match

aku..
Restless.
dont know why.
asik tgk kat phone je.
what am i waiting for?
a miracle?some sort of comfort?
from a phone? (yeah..weird.i know)
how ridiculous is that.
ahh..aku ni tunggu ape tah.
waiting for something that i dont even know exists.
aku resah for a reason that is quite unacceptable.
urgh..rite now, i hate myself.