Dream

what's with dreams...? are they something really special that everyone should have..at least one? YES. dream is a powerful tool for human to succeed in life.says who? says me (yeah rite).

someone (Oscar Hammerstein) said:
"If you don't have a dream, how are you going to make a dream come true?"

that is why we have to have dream or dream. so that we can make our own dreams come true.well, ur probably wondering why the hell im talking about dreams all of a sudden.because I HAVE DREAMS.that im not sure will come true.

but like i said..im not sure if they'll come true.because...i dont know.i just dont trust myself to make it happen.i dont have the support and encouragement to do so.or maybe im just making all these excuse. for what? i have no idea..but before i bore u with my heart's content, here's the list of dreams that i have been secretly (well..some of it) keeping from my mother.hahaha

1. to further my studies
2. to dance and i mean really2 dance
3. open a dance studio (god knows when; im not even an amateur)
4. take up photography classes
5. take up make-up classes (rm2500)
6. buy a new sandal (expensive ones)
7. to go to Japan
8. to have a great life
9. lastly, to have a boyfren (hahahha..just joking;boyfren..not for now)

the question is..are any of these gonna become a reality? um..most probably yes.and that would ultimately be the 1st one.whether i WANT it or not..i HAVE to do my Masters regardless where to do it.i HAVE to.plainly because my mother wants me to and i..do think that i want it also.oh..its gonna become a reality if only i FILL IN THE APPLICATION and DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE REFERENCE LETTER!!god..i am lazy fyi.what i need to do is to just go the uitm and see my lecturers and ask them for reference letter.thats all.but..i am LAZY.but then again, i dont have the time to do so.you know why? cuz im working 5 DAYS a week.i dont have any time to spare to go to SA.trust me.and even if i take half day off...that wudnt guarantee that i'll see any of them in campus.they'd probably be anywhere or everywhere.huuuu~

oh ya..about the dancing thingy..i do have PASSION for dancing.its just that i dont have the opportunity to learn more.as some might know, i was in a dance club few years back.i've done shows and stuff.but i stopped in the middle.cant remember why.but i never feel like shutting or throwing it off the window.i WANT to dance.i WANT to be a professional dancer.and i WANT to own a dancing studio.but my gut is whispering "it wont happen.ur mother wont like it".but DUH..its kinda her "fault" that i LOVE to dance.she was a dancer too!!some frens said that, "yes, she was a dancer before.but maybe thats the reason that she doesnt like the idea of u dancing.she had probably experienced something and she doesnt u to go thru it because ur her daughter" bla bla... *sigh* i know there are some truth in it but being a young woman who wants to do the things that she loves..i thot that was mean and cruel and sadistic (exaggerate).

then there are photography and make-up classes.i REALLY REALLY want to be if-not-great-but-good photographer - for myself.i like to take pictures.i just dont have the tool and the talent and the monies to be able to do that.i have to have a GOOD-EXPENSIVE camera, dont i?and i do have to know the basics.but ya..i dont.hahaha.and about that make-up classes.i want to learn to make up so that i can make myself up.i want to be pretty.i want to be able to look utterly beautifool that when i walk everywhere, heads will turn and stare.yes.i do want to feel beautiful not only on the inside but on the outside as well. (^_^) i am very self conscious of myself.i dont think im pretty nor beautiful.or stunning.or even cute.i am not.FINA IS SUCH A PLAIN GIRL. *no wonder no one wants to be around her.or get to knoe her* but im immuned to such thing.i know what its like being just another plain girl.and it hurts so bad that i can even tell how it feels like.therefore, i wud like to take make-up lessons, thank you. (anyone's who generous enuff to give me rm2500?? anyone..?)

the sandal? nah..that can be settled at anytime.hahaha.. (show off)
meanwhile, last year..i NEARLY had the chance to go to Japan.yes..NEARLY. but it didnt happen which saw me broke down and cried endlessly on the floor.JOKING.i was supposed to go with a good friend of mine but ya..she mentioned something about her dad which i also cudnt recall what was that about.in conclusion, we didnt go.i dont have any idea when i'll have the chance to.huhu =(

and the last one which is number 8: to have a great life.
i honestly think that i've achieved this one.because i am HAPPY.i have a JOB.i have NEW FRENS.i still communicate with OLD FRENS.i have a GREAT FAMILY (parents and a brother and beautiful cousinsssss).i just turned 23.and i have a NEW PHONE.i found a new interest; going to GIGS.i found 4-5 other new loves; shops in Bangsar or course!basically, i have a life except on weekends (bored to death).haha..when i 1st got my car..i went out EVERY WEEKEND and it sucked all of my MONIES.yes.i was BROKE in November.really2 broke.but that didnt broke my spirit to move on with my lifestyle.hahaha.i still went for a facial at Lancome Beauty Institute in Bangsar.i still coloured my hair in KLCC.that alone cost me a freaking rm265.u may not think thats a lot but it was for me.not counting the expenses of driving here and there.the toll and FUEL.i dont even dare to count.i cant bear the reality.hahahahaha..

anyway, all in all..im living a great life.althou there are times when i feel like crap but i do enjoy the things that i do now.with not-so-great-friends, i manage to live.this is definitely the time to put myself to test.whether i can be independent and at the same time having the time of my life..pursuing my DREAMS.i do hope that i can achieve all of them.its just the matter of TIME and MONEY and FAITH.if i put my mind to it, i can most definitely succeed.
i leave u with some quotes that read:

"If you can imagine it, you can achieve it. If you can dream it, you can become it."
(William Arthur Ward)

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great"
(Mark Twain)

Think.Action.Achieve.