Looks

What is it with looks? its EVERYTHING! to me its everything.

i seldom think and feel that im pretty or cute or sweet. i mite not think like this before. it if werent for the experiences that i went thru in high skool, i'd appreciate myself better. really.

it started when i was in Form 1, i applied for 'pinjaman buku' and i got it. so a bunch of us went to the room where they kept all the text books. inside, there were few boys who'd help to find and collect the text books for us. what happened was, when all my cute and pretty friends got their books, i was the only one who didnt get it. it was because, this short boy, thinking that he's 'cute', asked me to turn around to face him (i did), and he said the meanest thing to me..'eh, tak cantik ah'.. then he turned around and DID not help to collect the books for me. how CRUEL was he? i mean, how cud u say that to my face?? just because im not pretty, it doesnt mean that u cudnt help me to find all the books! if he's THAT cute or handsome, i can understand. but HELLO? ur just a dark short ugly guy who thinks that girls wud be attracted to him. PUHLEEASSE...! GET A LIFE! look in the mirror first.

SEE..?? GUYS are like that. they think they are super macho and charming and handsome (althou they are soo..not) and yet they'd diss girls who are like me.

and there's another story.. my former bestfren, zadfy, cud be said as pretty okay (not ugly not very pretty but okay).. she'd always get the attention from guys no matter where she goes. there's this time when i was walking with her to a shop and there were 2 guys walking opposite of our direction..and their eyes were only fixed at her. they did not look at me at all. then they approach her saying something. i cant remember wat one of them said. but at least, she got the attention rite.and i did not get any. how pathetic was i?? VERY.

see guys..that is why, now, i cudnt see myself as a beautiful or cute or sweet person. i just cudnt. and to add to that, my self-esteem is definitely not improving. i keep thinking, no wonder i dont have a boyfren. its because im not good-looking enuf to guys. they're not attracted to me, let alone tempted to know me. not like my other frens. its easy for them to knoe people, for people to knoe them and certainly easy for them to get boyfrens. and me? i've been single for 3 and a half year. im not saying that life's pretty great for a single like me. in fact. im blessed. at least my heart's not aching, no one's making me sad and i dont have to think of the money to spend for the other half. im just saying how people especially guys (who think that they'r great) can be cruel to girls who arent good-looking to their eyes. including me. pity me,huh..?

well thats my story and thats all for now.

will be posting new ones anytime soon!

have a great day!

muax!!