Free Fall Plunge

i knew.when i made that decision, i am putting myself and others in jeopardy.i questioned myself over and over whether what im doing is right or wrong.i found the answer but it leads to yet another sad ending which im afraid wud leave behind a nasty scar (scar?sorry.i cant find the right word yet.haha).what we've gained years ago wud probably be different, now that things are getting out of hand.feelings are involved.loyalty is in questioned.nerves are shaking.minds are blowing.Dem.i hate this situation when it involves the feelings i've been keeping in a locked safety box.to feel things again is a torturous chore.
now..i feel like standing on top of a cliff and let myself fall freely, and crash.the perfect plunge, i imagine..wud be exhilarating.i think i'd find peace and total freedom on my way down.wudnt u think so?just let go of everything and..Jump! spread ur hands,hold ur head high,smile and embrace the moment while it lasted.aahhh...that wud be nice rite?

A Perfect Match

aku..
Restless.
dont know why.
asik tgk kat phone je.
what am i waiting for?
a miracle?some sort of comfort?
from a phone? (yeah..weird.i know)
how ridiculous is that.
ahh..aku ni tunggu ape tah.
waiting for something that i dont even know exists.
aku resah for a reason that is quite unacceptable.
urgh..rite now, i hate myself.

SleepLess In Cyber

i had another sleepless night the other day.its been quite a long time since the last time it happened.i didnt sleep at all on saturday and i only slept for like 1hr 1/2 on early sunday morning.i dont know why it happened.its like a condition that i have since forever.there wud be this day where i dont sleep at all until la the next day.i wont feel tired, in fact, when i tried to ganti the sleep on the evening, i cant.have to wait until the night comes.then i cud sleep.i cant figure out why.cud it be stress? i dont think so.cud it be emotionally disturbed? no. or is something bothering me? probably. whatever pun..im okay with it.as long as im not sick or anything..

hey..i gtg..later k.

Earth Hour

*last years Earth Hour

I didnt participate in Earth Hour.Dem.i wanted to.but i was out that day.may not be fun and may not be the most anticipated thing to look forward to here in mesia.but i wanted to be part of it thou i may be among the few who did.anyway, i missed it.but i discovered something that is rather..disturbing which i cant share.how the hell it happened, i have nooo idea.it just came out of nowhere without it being discussed pun.aihhh..ape la nak jadi.i cant think.but i hope there wud be a mutual understanding on that subject matter.fast.i dont want to get too involved.wud affect me so much in every way.emotionally, thats for sure.things will be different.very2 different which i cant bear to think it over.tapi diharapnye...everything will be ok kan.
i dont blame anyone.its just one of the things that happen every other day, u know.we live to make sacrifices, choices, decisions etc.so it'll come back to us.what do we want to do about it..whats next if we decide to do it..what are the consequences and such.therefore, (essay la konon.hehe) what we really need to do is to ponder upon our choices, priorities..decisions may hurt someone but we'll just have to live with it.like i said before, we cant have both things at once.aihh..why is it difficult to make decisions aa?i've always ask myself that question.its either we end up hurting someone or urself.people mite say "thats life, u know.we'll have to accept it and move forward".yeah..reality sucks rite?

3/30/2008 - 2:12:42 AM ~ 4:19:26 AM

Dem.this date and time marked probably the end or the beginning of something.cud be fatal.or cud be good.i am speechless.i am nervous.and i feel numb instead of relieved.well..maybe a little bit glad.but my intuition says that it is somehow wrong.YaAllah..tolong aku.i cant help it.Dem.

My Cup Of Tea

how i like my cup of tea:

Warm/Sweet

:.tastes friendly.:

:.not too hot.:

:.swallow-easy.:

:.sweet,of course.:

:.nice.:

Cold

:.cooling.:

:.slightly bitter.:

:.daunting?.:

:.mysterious.:

:.addictive.:

its nice to have both actually.althou cold tea mite tastes..Cold.but i like it just the way it is.to have two cups of tea wud be nice but u know what they say:

u cant have both things at one time.

Dem.

haha.

Honesty IS The Best Policy

ya..honesty is indeed the best policy ever.we'd rather hear the truth than a lie..heh.are you sure about that?some people cant take the truth you know.because reality is hard to deal with.especially when all you care about is taking care of others feelings and vice versa.anyway, i just got another hit of reality when a fren, in a way, said that im not cute.he was comparing me with another fren and he said between me and her, she's cuter.seriously.thats what he said.it kinda smack me hard inside but i kept my cool (i am cool btw.ehem). i am not cute.yup.i know that..since forever.all this while i succeeded in plastering the truth about my level of cuteness, but tonite, it shattered. just because of one honest opinion.i dont blame him.in fact, i salute him for having the guts to say it out loud in front of others.you could say i was definitely stumped but i maintained my coolness.hurt but its ok.at least now i know for sure that i am NOT cute.i can accept that.no problemo.i admire the fact that he's being so honest and not be afraid of whatever thats coming out from his mouth.unlike some people who'd prefer telling "sweet sugary" lies just to please others.well..its ok if ur trying to not to hurt the person.just dont take it too far, i guess.so now i know one of the possible reasons why im still single.no wonder laaa...isk.hati ini dah kuciwa dan terluka.tapi takpe.at least, saya tau ape pendapat org tentang saya.terima kaseh kerana berterus terang.so skang, apalaga..move on lah!

thanx korang!

Once in A Blue Moon

have you ever suddenly feel like crying for no reason?
every one or two months you just have the urge to cry?
dont necessarily have to have a reason.
just sit at a quiet corner.
and let the tears flow freely.
dont have to be hysterical.
just a soft cry would do.
3-5 minutes is enough.
could be because..

:.you need to just merely let it out.:
be it for a big or small reason.
:.you are to tired?.:
:. you are in the mellow mood.:
:.you want to let go of the past?.:
or just..
:.because.:

well.
im proud to say that i am like that.
i'd cry for no reason at all.
and im not ashamed of it.
its one of the way for me to feel better.
yup.yup.
that's me.
weird.
i know.
but.
that's just who i am.

pernahkah anda lalui phase ini?

Candy Coated Pain

* Shy Hair saved my Blog!! yayyy!! Sankyu Bery Mach! Wev yuu..

* currently, my back hurts. since yesterday.maybe the effect of the bus seat.Whatever.

* i regretted that i went back to my hometown.everybody's pissed.Dem all of them.Opsi..i forgot. "they" are my family. (i have issues with my family)

* i didnt go out the whole 3 days.just stayed home.watched tv.read.sleep.eat.watched tv.sleep.read.eat.

* the car's wipers need to be changed. Pi dah bising (eh tak2.bukan bising.hehe) thanx Pi. (^_^)v

* i craved for cheese. chicken cordon bleu? pitza? lasagna? sume tak.except Chilli's. haha..ade org nak banjer. YAYY!!

* feels like shopping till broke but then again..i AM broke.

* i know im getting fatter.and that worries me.

* at the end of the day, i coated my, worries pain and anger with candy. and plastered a fake smile.

Sepaaaaiiiissssss!!!

semalam kami membuat sepais bday pati utk cik Shy Hair. tak susah utk men-sukses kan sepais pati dia nih.senang je.dgn hanye menggunakan akal dan mulut.hahaha..pade waktu siang tu, kami terpaksa la menipu cik ni.berbagai2 alasan diberi utk men-cover perbuatan kami yg agak-agak licik tu.cik sarinana pegi membeli cis kek.cik anum menggoreng2 nuggets etc.saye dan yg lain men-cover baek nyeer..walaupun saye sikit lagi nak kantoi, tapi ke-blur-an cik Shy Hair tetap dapat ditangani.hahahha.. *wink*

maka..nak dekat maghrib tu, kami dah siap2 dah prepare, hanye menunggu kepulangan cik sarinana dan cik yg nak di sepais je.mase diorg sampai je..tibe2 phone saye plak bising.isk.sape yg call aku nihh??!! time nak buat sepais la dia call.plak tu dia kate dia Inspektor.lagi la saye cuak.tibe2 polis call ckp ade waran bagai.rupe2 nye si Pisang..!!! marah betol aku.nak tanye pasal tiket bas.ciss!! jage ko Inspektor!

hahaha..anyway, walaupun tak dapat nak jerit "Sepaisss!!!", saye tetap seronok sbb kami sukses.cik Shy Hair boleh plak BLUR. aihhh..tapi ke-blur-an dia tu mmg menceriakan kami.tanpa cik Shy Hair, saye jadi bosan tahap dewa.ok, ape2 pun..diharapkan dia seronok dan gumbira walaupun di sambut 2 hari selepas kejadian yg sebenar.semoga panjang umur ye cik Shy Hair!semoga murah rezeki..aminn...

**aihhh...saye dari thn lepas sampai skang maseh mengharap kot la ade org nak buat sepais utk saye.tapi hampa.tak pe lah cik Fofana.buat la sepais utk diri sendiri.yayy (dgn tak bermaya).