guess u wont marry the sweet talker

yesterday i was chatting with a long-time fren from high skool.well, he's my senior actually.so we were talking about something regarding to being fat.i said i've gain few kilos (benci) and that i want to lose some of those excessive fat.then he asked me, 'why takut jadi gemok?'.erm, i dont exactly want to answer that and i dont want to be saying something cliche either.so i just said its involving self-esteem.for those who might not know this, i've always have issues about myself.i feel inadequate when im with frens.one thing for sure, i dont have the looks.my face is not flawless.im not that tall.i dont have great hair.im dark.etc etc.when i compare myself with frens, i feel down.its even stressful when some frens over here are thinner than me and yet they say they're fat.they have flat tummies kot! and i dont.they're flawless, skin wise.thick hair.sweet.slim.and of course, they're younger.i didnt actually say this to my senior.not wanting to feel that bad about myself.so i just told him the basic things and he, being a sweet fren, said something that shud make me feel flattered and yet, i took it as something that he shud say to make me feel better.he said exactly this,

F: if im not with someone at d moment
F: i might consider u to b my wife.
F: pending meetups n get-to-know-u-all-over-again-after-years-apart sessions

now i know i shudnt be believing all this, because, what a sweet talker he is (i lied & told him he's not a sweet talker thou he admits so).haha.but i somehow felt good.felt my cheeks flushed for a moment.but then immediately snapped back to reality.c'mon.he's just saying it to make me feel good.thou he did say that im attractive (just so u know, i dont believe that either).i cant handle compliments.they get to me.so, that is how un-confident i am (i know, the word un-confident is non-existance.watever).ok, scratch that.i shud just use, ungrateful or low self-esteem.yeah..that's how i am.i wince when i look in the mirror.wud always wonder why im not like them.them who are better looking etc.aihhh.ok lah.better stop here before i go on and on about being ugly.

how many sweet compliments must it take to make u happy wit urself?