im going Nut-ella

i broke down yesterday.silently crying under the quilt.not knowing what to do i text kodie and he..well kodie reminded me that He is here to help.always will.and all i have to do is ask.thx kodie.i cudnt stand it anymore.the urge to go back home overshadows everything else.a fren said "ni baru sikit"..but what he doesnt know and feel is that its different.kat mesia boleh la nak ckp cmtu.tapi kat sini rasa susah dia lain.parents are not here to help.ade abg pun, abg sendiri ade masalah dia.relatives pun jauh.so ape2 hal mmg sendiri kena settle.no one is gonna help.and being a daughter who understands the position of my family, i dont want to burden my parents, especially my mom.she insisted on me going here eventho i told her i didnt want to go because of some problems.as a mother, i know she wants the best for her children and i dare not fulfill that.i know she said she can find money for us but i've seen how hard she worked when my brother was here last year, and i cudnt let her go thru that again.not for now.not for me.
abg aku is doing his best to look for a job for me and also for himself.so hopefully we get one.kalo tak dapat cover fees pun at least dapat cover our rent and bills dah memadai.but rite now all im worried about is not having a temporary place to stay..

kalo rase kat mesia susah..kat tempat org lagi susah.