Is It Time Yet?

i keep asking myself that question for 4 years..is it time yet for me to built a relationship? am i ready for yet another roller coaster ride with someone? to get to know each other..then build the trust etc..it seems like a long journey and it gets kinda tiring to it all over again, doesnt it?
but actually, i dont mind. its just that i havent met the "rite" person yet.or the "rite" person hasnt meet me yet. *sigh* i dont know.on the first day of raya, my aunty asked me "boyfren mcmane?"...and i was like "huh?boyfren yg mane satu?" because as far as im concerned i dont have any..! i thot maybe she knows something that i dont know..then, my cousins laughed at me saying "waa..yg mane satu...ade ramai la tu"..hahahaha..
they're great.its been a long time since we have fun and make jokes together.
anyways, back to the topic...
...i do feel great being single. its fun, no headaches, no worries and the best thing is i get to spend my money to myself..not for anyone else (family's exception). but at times, i do feel bored, sad (not sad sad) but sad like "aihh...if only i have a boyfren rite now"..that kind of sad.and when i feel vulnerable, i wanted to have someone to share my problems, my pain and my joy...but ya..i dont have one.guy frens are different, they're there for fun times..for 'lepak-ing', have wacky conversation with..
but honestly, i survived and STILL surviving without having anyone by my side.althou 4 years ago i thot i wudnt be able to 'live' without him.i was like "what am i supposed to do now that im single again?" "can i survive without him?" "can i someday face him without having any feeling of resentment, hatred or revenge or even love? " one and a half year later, i go the answer to all my questions. i CAN and i DID. it was the greatest moment when i realized that i no longer have any feelings for him and that i've managed to MOVE on. i should give myself a pat on the back for being able to go through alot of dissappointment, pain and sadness..YUP..! since then, i do feel that i can take care of myself..with a little bit of difficulty.but difficulties are normal rite? problems taught me to be independent and somehow i become braver over the years..well, i manage to solve them with the help of a lot of poeple. especially the people that i just got to know a few moths now. they're great people..each one of them.and i thank you for all ur help, patience, concern, tips etc..thank you very much.
before i conceal this particular entry, i'd like to answer the question that i've been asking myself for years..
NO, its not the time yet.not now at least. so there you go. my ultimate answer. (^_^)